With an Ann Counter book coming out, there's an unfortunate task that needs doing. No Progressive lady here is going to do it. You've all got too much class and too much distaste for fundamentalism. I don't have that much class and my atheism protects me from the effects of brimstone. So, I'm taking a break from reminding people that General David Petraeus wears a combat medal he did not earn (because he was not in real combat) and getting my hyperbole on. Except it's only hyperbole because I'm an atheist and I couldn't possibly care less that by any consistent Scriptural definition Ann Coulter is a whore.
But it's still not a word I use lightly. I want people to understand that. I certainly wouldn't use it for someone who was a sex worker. "Whore" and "fornication" are important Biblical terms. A "whore" is a woman who tempts men away from fidelity and redemption, becoming a "false Chruch" in and of herself. If that's not Coulter, what is? And "fornication" is all sex out of wedlock as well as temptation intended to arouse the intent to fornicate. Have you SEEN what Coulter wears these days? You don't have to look hard to see the eating disorder nor the desperate plea for sexual attention, let's just say that.
According to the logic of the Christian rhetoric she uses, Ann Coulter fornicates so relentlessly and with such public impunity that her behavior approaches apostasy.
FEMINISTS! CHRISTIANS! Sisters and Brothers! Please remember that this is about Ann Coulter's Religion! Not Mine. Not Yours.
I'm an atheist and a feminist. I do not have a dog in this fight. I do not care how much Ann Coulter has sex, what she wears (Although, Ann, Honey, please. Sexier to keep us guessing about the new implants. Don't spill the beans all at once.). I don't care what is the proper place of women in Christian theology. I am talking here about an unenlightened Christianity which denies the basis for feminism and I know my theology pretty well. Please don't tangle with me on the Good Book unless you're on the other team, okay? And don't let Coulter hide behind YOUR feminism that YOU have earned and fight for.
From a BeliefNet Interview:
BelieftNet:As a woman, do you long for that source of great fulfillment for many women: a husband, a family? Or do you see your life's vocation as primarily in the public arena?
Coulter: As a journalist, do you long to have a sense of decorum? Or do you see your life's vocation as primarily asking strangers utterly inappropriate personal questions?
There actually could not be a more appropriate question to ask a woman who is such a Bible literalist that she denies Evolution. Of course it's absurd for her to try and play feminist, so she plays arbiter of "decorum". Wow. Not a role that sits easily on her emaciated shoulders.
So why would she expose herself to ridicule?. There are three theological interpretations as to why she exposes herself so often and publicly flaunts her fornication without fear that someone will see through the Empress's New Cocktail Dress. I'll save the third one for the comments because it's a little silly - but apt.
1.) Regular Christianity plus borderline personality/nymphomania.
Nymphomania is not actually funny. It's awful and sad. So, let's not talk about this one.
2.) Calvinism
My belief is that Ms. Coulter belongs to this perverted and quite dangerous sect of Christianity. After being all but banished from America, Militant Calvinism is on the rise once more. Expect witch burnings soon. Unfortunately my community here in Seattle is host to the most influential and largest Militant Calvinist mega-church: the Mars Hill congregation and Acts 29 church-planting network of Cristian Sexist pastor Mark Driscoll.
Calvinism is disgusting and shocking to most people's notion of worshiping Jesus Christ. Calvinists generally hide or dissemble about the central notion of their faith: "The Elect". This because the notion of "The Elect" is exactly what it sounds like: the belief that some people - some eternal souls - are actually better than others. Take a wild guess which souls they think are better. Did you say: "Theirs"? Such a clever audience.
The Puritans were Calvinists. Nathanial Hawthorne was the great chronicler of Puritan Calvinist depravity - the beating a "religious cleansing" of gentle Quakers, the murder of Native Americans, torture-murders of women accused of dabbling in the occult - the branding of an adultress. With the exception of not being anti-Semitic, Calivinism is associated ethnic conflict, religious bigotry, sexism and violence. Possibly Ms. Coulter has roots in that witch-burning, water-boarding cult. And here's what it looks like now:
Mark Driscoll is an exponent of violence. Describing himself as violent throughout his youth, Driscoll's "theology" is disturbing.
If you wonder why it is that a man of God thinks he can behave this way, it's because you don't know about the theory of "The Elect". The most obvious objects of Driscoll's violence (so far) are women. Sexism is part-and-parcel of his faith and message. But Calvinism hasn't changed since Nathaniel Hawthorne wrote the classic The Scarlet Letter.I don't think Driscoll would brand Ann Coulter with a scarlet "A" because she keeps herself pretty although, by his Scriptural norms, hers would be a life of near-constant fornication. His views are hateful but still a little confused by his attitudes towards hot babes such as Adriana Lima.
And she ate of the fruit......
Anyway, Ann Coulter thinks she can be a whore and a bully and a Christian for the same reason that Mark Driscoll thinks he can be a bully and a sexist and a Christian: They are part of "The Elect". If you thought "Born Again" was offensive. If regular, old "Original Sin" made your skin crawl, prepare to be disgusted. The blockquotes will be Coulter's favorite bible verses per her BeliefNet interview.
First, you to understand this:
That's right, God hates you because you are a completely depraved sinner. He does not hate your sin. He hates you because he's a big baby.
If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you.
John 15:18
Second, you have to know that God has preordained which ones of you that he hates so much will come and join him in Heaven.
...It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To him who is thirsty I will give to drink without cost from the spring of the Water of Life.
Revelation 21:6
But the cowardly and unbelieving and abominable and murderers and fornicators and sorcerers and idolaters and all the false, their part will be in the lake which burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death. -Revelation 21:8
To join Him you will have to go through a process of work and torture. But most of you still won't get to heaven.
BeliefNet: Will most liberals go to hell or heaven?
Coulter: I really can't improve on Jesus' words: "Make every effort to enter through the narrow door, because many, I tell you, will try to enter and will not be able to."
For the Elect, things will be better. Note the "without cost" and the "fornicators" in the previous tracts. You see, the Elect are already in there. Their redemption will happen. They're different from us because they have a special relationship with God.
Whoever acknowledges me before men, I will also acknowledge him before my Father in heaven. But whoever disowns me before men, I will disown him before my Father in heaven.
Matthew 10:32-33
All men will hate you because of me, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved.
Matthew 10:22
Daddy will finally see how special Annie is. But even if you think you're not Elect, too bad. Because God needs you to suffer anyway. And The Elect will see that you do suffer - even worse than just reading an Ann Coulter book.
Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:34
And all this is a lot like Christianity, as long as you leave out humility, duty to others and this:
34 Then shall the King say to them on his right hand: Come ye blessed children of my father, inherit ye the kingdom prepared for you from the beginning of the world. 35 For I was an hungered, and ye gave me meat. I thirsted, and ye gave me drink. I was harborless, and ye lodged me. I was naked and ye clothed me: 36 I was sick and ye visited me. I was in prison and ye came unto me. 37 Then shall the just answer him saying: master, when, saw we thee an hungered, and fed thee? or a thirst, and gave thee drink? 38 when saw we thee harborless, and lodged thee? or naked and clothed thee? 39 or when saw we thee sick, or in prison and came unto thee? 40 And the king shall answer and say unto them: verily I say unto you: in as much as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren: ye have done it to me.
41 Then shall the king say unto them that shall be on the left hand: depart from me ye cursed, into everlasting fire, which is prepared for the devil and his angels. 42 For I was an hungered, and ye gave me no meat. I thirsted, and ye gave me no drink.
She's no Christian now, but maybe Ann will be okay. After all, she has poured a lot of drinks and given away a lot of meat.